so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
