so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
