You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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