Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
