It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday