I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.