then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
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Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
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Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.