Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night