Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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