So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
