So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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