Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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