If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
