So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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