I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
