1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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