she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
