Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
