Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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