i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
