i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
