You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
