A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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