watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
