She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
