the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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