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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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• (310): View more from California

  she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER

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