i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
