Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY