Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize