hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.