Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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(415): i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian http://tfl.nu/vq1a

Replies (8) Good night (2046) Bad night (993)
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(905): View more from Toronto

In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

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(905): In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience http://tfl.nu/48b7

Replies (125) Good night (5880) Bad night (1413)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

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(308): It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail. http://tfl.nu/m40v

Replies (18) Good night (1075) Bad night (4743)
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(970): View more from Colorado

He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag

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(970): He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag http://tfl.nu/538a

Replies (16) Good night (1281) Bad night (4835)
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(269): View more from Michigan

He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.

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(269): He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better. http://tfl.nu/o020

Replies (21) Good night (5648) Bad night (1954)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal

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(215): he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal http://tfl.nu/oaxp

Replies (35) Good night (1819) Bad night (4239)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend

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(908): it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend http://tfl.nu/ha54

Replies (6) Good night (3090) Bad night (736)
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(917): View more from New York City

i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

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(917): i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past. http://tfl.nu/eita

Replies (4) Good night (2623) Bad night (1890)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride

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(702): Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride http://tfl.nu/xs6r

Replies (9) Good night (3916) Bad night (1454)
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(347): View more from New York

In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.

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(347): In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well. http://tfl.nu/gd78

Replies (5) Good night (894) Bad night (600)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.

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(973): They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard. http://tfl.nu/pxmg

Replies (1) Good night (1172) Bad night (468)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.

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(770): I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone. http://tfl.nu/ncer

Replies (4) Good night (368) Bad night (909)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick

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(580): I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick http://tfl.nu/yhj9

Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (900)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?

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(320): I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy? http://tfl.nu/wlig

Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (350)
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(276): View more from Virginia

Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?

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(276): Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this? http://tfl.nu/9myy

Replies (6) Good night (1020) Bad night (249)

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