Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.

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  (818): I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off. http://tfl.nu/7sly
  Replies (27) Good night (584) Bad night (4085)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.

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  (203): if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize. http://tfl.nu/tmed
  Replies (27) Good night (6382) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  whore

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  (440): My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum. (216): whore http://tfl.nu/bo5h
  Replies (13) Good night (4028) Bad night (991)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?

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  (806): pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour? http://tfl.nu/u15d
  Replies (22) Good night (3031) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.

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  (401): I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me. http://tfl.nu/vovs
  Replies (32) Good night (1207) Bad night (3919)
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  (707): View more from California

  drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.

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  (707): drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs. http://tfl.nu/ujxz
  Replies (24) Good night (3744) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.

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  (817): he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him. http://tfl.nu/kyym
  Replies (29) Good night (4314) Bad night (1588)
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  (631): View more from New York

  im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night

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  (631): im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night http://tfl.nu/im54
  Replies (5) Good night (2819) Bad night (488)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka

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  (+49): I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka http://tfl.nu/jrp7
  Replies (4) Good night (1691) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!

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  (815): I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!! http://tfl.nu/xnab
  Replies (20) Good night (1068) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity

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  (612): So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age (612): Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity http://tfl.nu/l9mx
  Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle

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  (231): I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle http://tfl.nu/1xsa
  Replies (7) Good night (1033) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

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  (312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You pretty much did tho

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  (248): Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum (1-248): You pretty much did tho http://tfl.nu/fp9x
  Replies (1) Good night (764) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead

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  (602): It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead http://tfl.nu/3tbq
  Replies (0) Good night (455) Bad night (205)

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