I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dating After Heartbreak
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L