I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
