Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
