The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
