dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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