i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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