You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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