Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
