Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
