Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
