on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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