T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
