so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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