I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
