I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
