just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
