2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
