She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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