You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
