His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
