biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
