ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
