He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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