I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
