I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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