so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
