She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i think im in europe. pls send help
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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