Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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