Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
where are you?
Hypothermia
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
