i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
