My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
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After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.