my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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