Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT

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  (910): wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars (910): IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT http://tfl.nu/70k5
  Replies (83) Good night (40696) Bad night (2380)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that

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  (214): Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that http://tfl.nu/hzhm
  Replies (33) Good night (4048) Bad night (1343)
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  (619): View more from California

  he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house

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  (619): he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house http://tfl.nu/t2gc
  Replies (3) Good night (3353) Bad night (868)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.

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  (850): my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster. http://tfl.nu/974x
  Replies (14) Good night (7986) Bad night (1589)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.

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  (914): She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles. http://tfl.nu/pzt3
  Replies (19) Good night (2040) Bad night (6528)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count

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  (678): I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count http://tfl.nu/smaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1680) Bad night (1016)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails

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  (205): Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails http://tfl.nu/p7in
  Replies (12) Good night (3607) Bad night (1075)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you

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  (408): I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you http://tfl.nu/72n4
  Replies (15) Good night (2379) Bad night (760)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.

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  (832): Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away. http://tfl.nu/sac9
  Replies (1) Good night (1041) Bad night (638)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house

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  (503): Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house http://tfl.nu/makx
  Replies (5) Good night (987) Bad night (494)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.

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  (906): Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22. http://tfl.nu/rw17
  Replies (8) Good night (714) Bad night (1378)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night

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  (306): I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night http://tfl.nu/ov8q
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (864)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.

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  (732): Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul. http://tfl.nu/smd4
  Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (343)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.

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  (270): We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/4qrz
  Replies (5) Good night (373) Bad night (679)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.

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  (973): Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police. http://tfl.nu/4iv8
  Replies (0) Good night (925) Bad night (298)

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