Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  guess who came home with a hottie last night

  (1-805): View more from California

  Def drugged

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  (805): guess who came home with a hottie last night (1-805): Def drugged http://tfl.nu/j05c
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (817)
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  (310): View more from California

  and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.

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  (310): and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night. http://tfl.nu/rugs
  Replies (33) Good night (525) Bad night (2951)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.

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  (678): If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now. http://tfl.nu/3dz4
  Replies (27) Good night (522) Bad night (3902)
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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  (+82): You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes. http://tfl.nu/6vdw
  Replies (7) Good night (5399) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.

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  (262): we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere. http://tfl.nu/ddqg
  Replies (9) Good night (1750) Bad night (2637)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.

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  (313): you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/cddz
  Replies (9) Good night (4811) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!

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  (303): Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?! http://tfl.nu/om37
  Replies (23) Good night (2739) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children

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  (817): I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children http://tfl.nu/nt9v
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1608) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question

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  (716): my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question http://tfl.nu/fvr6
  Replies (7) Good night (529) Bad night (896)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding

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  (503): We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding http://tfl.nu/3uk9
  Replies (8) Good night (602) Bad night (1562)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Birthday success

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  (479): I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick. (870): Birthday success http://tfl.nu/9sf8
  Replies (4) Good night (1343) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next

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  (805): Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next http://tfl.nu/au7a
  Replies (1) Good night (859) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.

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  (215): Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it. http://tfl.nu/dtmi
  Replies (4) Good night (266) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...

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  (361): I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time... http://tfl.nu/xkbo
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (183)

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