Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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