i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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