Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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