he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
