our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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