Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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